By Ayesha Khan
You’ve probably heard the saying, “Never judge a book by its cover.” I’d like to add something to that.
Most of us only give ourselves a few seconds to decide whether something impresses us or whether we should ignore it. In those few seconds, we form judgments based on the cover, not the content, not the person behind it. Unless we already know the author, their name becomes just another word on a page.
In many ways, this is also how we subconsciously treat the people we see on campus. We form placeholder impressions: simple mental shortcuts that help us quickly categorize others. Instead of adjusting these impressions as we learn more about someone, we often try to fit people into the models we already have, even if that means overlooking their individuality.
Psychologists often describe these quick judgments as mental shortcuts or “schemas.” They allow our brains to process social situations quickly without overwhelming us with information. While these shortcuts are useful, they can also lead us to oversimplify the people around us - and sometimes ourselves!
Over time, I’ve noticed that the way we view others and the world around us affects how strongly we feel that we belong. Everyone looks at others through the lens of their own experiences. For those of us who feel like imposters in new situations, it’s easy to imagine everyone else as people who “have it all figured out.” That becomes our placeholder impression.
This kind of thinking is often made worse by isolation from other people’s experiences. When we don’t talk to others, we fill in the gaps ourselves, and we usually assume the worst about our own place in the room.
But all hope is not lost. The solution is surprisingly simple: talking.
Talking to people simplifies what we often overcomplicate; it reveals that everyone has their own struggles. The person who seems confident might be just as afraid to try something new as you are. Maybe they step forward because they once let opportunities slip away and don’t want to repeat that mistake. Or maybe they push themselves because opportunities were once rare, and they’ve learned to treat each one like something precious.
Fear doesn’t disappear. But when we understand why something matters, the idea of trying – despite that fear – starts to make sense.
Once we recognize these fears and give them names, they become easier to face. Even more powerful is realizing that these fears aren’t yours alone to carry. Many of the people around you are quietly carrying the same ones.
Sometimes, the only thing separating us from realizing that is a conversation.
Which brings me back to my original point: never judge a book by its cover; the real story lies in the pages we take the time to read.
Hey all! My name is Ayesha Khan. I am a student of LA&PS majoring in Information Technology. Though I am new to writing, I have already grown fond of this community of writers and readers.
I love expressing myself through creativity – be it through sketching, painting, or writing. Albeit, I have not been able to give much time to this hobby of mine due to schoolwork. Despite this, I try to find snippets of time here and there to keep this hobby alive!
I am especially passionate about creating work that resonates with others and evokes emotion. Knowing that my words can reach people is incredibly exciting and I’m really looking forward to sharing my writings with you all!